“My Song to Your Shadow” by Avi Lohr

by Avi Lohr ’24

Winner- Best Poetry

i’ve been falling apart lately
i think it’s got something to do with the seasons
i always seem to get like this with January skies but
well
i guess I’m just missing you

lately the tattered shreds of the universe’s gown
have been tangling my limbs in their fading folds and
it’s been getting harder to escape
lately i’ve been feeling as though the world has fallen apart at my feet
and i know i used to say that as long as i had you if the world came crashing down it’d be fine
it’d be good
but now that it’s happened i can’t say i feel that way anymore
maybe it would be different if we could say more than hello
goodbye
a whispered i love you
maybe it would be different if we were older
smarter
stronger
maybe it would be different if i could see that goofy grin

i’ve been having trouble sleeping lately
i wake in the night and trace the moonlight on the wall
create stories for the shadows of the barren trees
i’ve been going crazy lately
i watch the candlelight dance through my mind
try to hide from the haunting voices that come in through the crack under the door until
i realize the voices are mine

i’ve been having strange dreams lately
in one
we’re sitting on the edge of the world, just you and me
and had the other not been there both of us would’ve jumped
i’m walking a fading tightrope
tracing the line that the waves makes on the shore
and your hand is the only thing left for me to hold on to

i’ve been falling apart lately
when i leaped off the railcar the ground was farther than i thought it would be
when the river took me i let it
i followed the canaries to the end of the world because
i was enchanted by their song
you brought in the cold on your coat and it hasn’t left yet
i let you rock me to sleep and i haven’t figured out how to wake up yet
maybe i don’t want to
even when i’ve been dreaming alone for a while now