“Nobody” by Lucia Martinez-Castro

by Lucia Martinez-Castro ’23

I am possessed by someone who is not me
I am blinded by malicious, violent pain,
Hurt by bullets that bruise my bones and shatter my spine and fracture my fragile hands.
Tortured by agony that washes over my face and paints over my eyes, leaving me in blinded terror,
And my own petrifying thoughts

I am held at an arm’s length away from who I used to be
Caged in a wounded shell of myself
Where I cannot recognize my ghostly features in a mirror.

I am damaged.
Disabled.
Corrupted.
Hung on a taught string, bound to snap at any given moment and release me into the endless abyss of insanity.

What a cruel twist of fate, for the girl who was once a luminous yellow.
For the girl who used to be the glorious daylight in her subjects bitter darkness,
Spreading fortune and overwhelming happiness,
Pouring brilliant light into every crevice and corner for her entire kingdom to bask in her warmth.
The girl who used to be everything.

And now, I am nobody.

Perhaps it was destined to happen
Perhaps my own blood was doomed to coat my hands
Perhaps it was fate that I would sit here in pain and sorrow, and completely, utterly, alone.
And In the impenetrable darkness that jabs my head and pounds my heart
I realize that perhaps,
It was never meant to be.