“i write from a place of” by Alyssa Pilecki

by Alyssa Pilecki ’20

i write from a place of

utter d e s p a i r,

so cold

so fragile

dark and desolate

no one around me

no one to save me 

from the ruthless thoughts, 

oh, these cold, hard, 

never-ending thoughts,

of my own creation 

and of others’,

clawing away at my very soul.

i foolishly,

desperately, hopelessly hope for 

a kind hand to pull me out,

for a stranger to greet me with a warm smile,

only to grasp thin air and 

see that lovely smile fade away

i fall into an abyss of helplessness.

i feel the life drain out of me

slowly, but surely.

no one will find me.

i write from a place of 


You know,

that sunshiney,

yellow honey, 

big hot air balloon-ey


of soaring high above the clouds

on a brisk summer day.

of hugging Momma 

until you get her smell 

ingrained into your brain forever

(surely, it will never be lost.) 

of the sweet, sweet nectar

of life,

oozing into every corner

every nook

every cranny

every inch

of my mind

and my hand

JOY deserves the capital letters.

i write from a place of 


an empty


neutral place,

this is the most fleeting feeling of them all.

i am

blissfully unaware

of both my privilege

and my deprivation

i write just to write,

unconscious of what is happening

in the world around me

this is the most phenomenal feeling of them all.

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